strugglin'

so i have a few things on my mind. i still have not heard about my chemistry test. i know the test was mailed on st. patties day, and it has to go all the way across the country to maine, but i really am ready to know what i got. and i know i need to get started on part deux of the class so i can start school in september. help a brotha out. just let me know. please.
also i am having a hard time working. not for any other reason than the fact that being surrounded by people who are fancy has made me want to be a little fancier. not such a bad thing. there is a pocketbook i want, some pants and a jacket. but i can't get any of these things yet because i have to pay the rent. as you know i am used to treating myself. so it is hard for me to be grown up and show discretion and not make any purchases. i am trying. but i do tend to get a little more upset than i should when i think about all the things i want, you know. is that normal? dustin told me this morning that i tend to be impulsive when it comes to buying things. probably this is true, but it was not what i wanted to hear. and i figured out, if i work two more weeks, the rent will be paid, and i can get the pocketbook. then we'll work on the pants and jacket. impulsive, my eye. i am working. i just want to get myself something so i don't feel like i am working for nothing. i am a selfish one. but i feel like i miss out on so much because of a job i don't really agree with, you know. i didn't get to spend the week with my parents, i missed a whole day of dan and rose, andy and melissa are coming this weekend (and i start working saturdays then). so i will miss them, too. i know i am just feeling sorry for myself.
one good note. we went to see be kind rewind. michele gondry directed it. he has done several great music videos and the science of sleep. i am sure he has done more, but i forget. i like the way he uses his imagination to tell the stories he tells as opposed to a huge budget. (he may get a big budget for his movies, but they all have a "diy" feel to them. i thought the movie was cute. i liked the reenactments of all the movies they did. it was fun to see a movie that i felt like i hadn't seen before, you know. with romantic comedies you get the formula: boy meets girl-something goes wrong + other person must be wooed back = they live happily ever after. with comedy you get: a group of regular people trying to over come some ridiculous obstacle+ hilarity ensuing = things are fine--funny but fine. this movie had a little of that...jack black gets irradiated+ erases all the movies in the store + hilarity ensues....but it still felt original. is that silly? i'm sure, but i needed a good laugh, and that sufficed.
i have been nothing but cold today. it has been so warm out. everyone is in shorts or tee shirts. i am cold. i got on my hoodie--hood up. i hope everything is ok, because i have to get this rent paid. the sooner the better. then i can start in on my selfish tirades. but i will look good.