c is for completion

well, well, well. the day i have been waiting for has finally arrived. i finished the main portion of my class today. i took my last quiz. i made 100%. now i just take the final on next tuesday (the 8th). i feel like i will be ready. today i am bored. i am happy to be bored, because things are finishing up. for one...the class. for two... having a lot of time off. soon i will be back working full time. watch out bank account, for you will be on the rise. i think i told you last time that we got the amount in loans i can expect for the first year of school. shazam! it is intense. i may not be debt free for a long, long time. but i think i am ready to give that a try. my neck, on the other hand, is hurting. so i am not sure how well i really am coping with the fact that all this (my dream of future independence) is quickly becoming reality. it has also affected my sleep. i have almost given up sleep completely. you would think that now would be the time i am loving my sleep. i am working hard and studying and doing things that generally necessitate sleep. so why can't i do even that? i will get there. i would like to say that i am done worrying about when i will sleep or when i will pay back my loans (i don't even have the loans yet), but those things tend to predominate my thoughts and my interactions with others. everything in my mind comes back to "enjoy this, because it costs money and you wont have that in a little while." and i know dust doesn't mean to, but he inadvertently facilitates this. i want to go on a day trip to north hampton, but he said "we went and spent enough yesterday." and i know he is right, but i just feel so guilty for putting him in my future financial situation. but on the other hand, i have never failed. i will not start now. and i will not give up without even trying. so what if i lose sleep. i have seen the machinist. i will lose massive amounts of weight. maybe i will be mistaken for a super model and begin earning my keep while wearing high fashion. something i have always wanted. high fashion. then i will look good and paying stupid loans off will be as easy as smiling for the camera. my life could be perfect. could be? hell, i am on my way.