i don't get it.

there are two things people from new england love. those two things are underdogs and dynasties. not like the cartoon superhero or ancient chinese civilizations, but rather the new england patriots that until recently were the top of their game every year ( i should include the red sox here as they are also quickly becoming a dynasty but have been the underdog for many generations---thus doubly loved here in the northern states.) and the celtics. my friends are so excited that their beloved celtics have a chance tonight to go from last place to first place all in the course of the season. most of the people i know here in vermont will be in my house tonight watching their underdogs attempt to defeat a team i have loved since my first trip back to LA in first grade (mainly because they are purple, but we will go into that later).
i say there is something to be said for consistency. look at the razorbacks--90% of the time their football team is not just bad, but they suck. anyone from outside the state could never believe a team so horrible would necessitate a field with the world's largest jumbo tron. like we really need our suckiness so big that the faa has to be told when that thing will be on (it registers with the FAA that a flight is crashed right on our beloved razorback field). anytime we score, they shoot off a freaking cannon. some seasons the cannon only gets fired three times. but that is our team, and they continuously suck, and we seem to love them more for it. i will use this analogy for a team outside the south (so as to not make it appear that southerners are stupid and thus would root for the home team never knowing they actually suck).
enter the amazing LA Lakers. they have been at the top of their game for more years than i have been alive. continuously good. people around america love the lakers. one of my favorite mc's has a line from a song (about being from la) that goes like this, (sorry about the spelling) " Asa laka lakam/ i also like the lakers. " hells yea. the lakers are hella cool. kareem abdul jabar, magic, shaq, kobe...generations of greatness. seems like until recently the celtics could only boast larry bird. larry bird? a hideous white man who has done nothing with his retired time other than bulk up and spout random basketball opinions. has he nothing else? wahoo. go boston. you got an over sized white guy spouting opinions. my team has magic johnson's thrift stores all over california, with proceeds going to help find a cure for aids. and need i remind all of you of the ever popular raver fashion of goggles--made famous by kareem. and just think what lessons we were taught when shaq and kobe overcame their off court hatred to dominate the nba. and when my team traded that big oaf to miami--genius. i hope my team wins tonight. just so i have a house full of unhappy guests. i love my spite.
before these games i would have told you i didn't really care about basketball unless i could go there and see it in person. but my love for consistency and my love for the lakers, and my love for being right has taken over yet again. would you new englanders make up your mind if you are rooting for underdogs or dynasties? all this flip flopping from sport season to sport season is making me ill.
if the celtics win--so be it. they have a good record this year, they have three good players, fine. but if my team wins...IN YOUR FACE.